User Profile

Customize

petite_larme

Add Friend
Add Note
Track User
Send Message
Send V-Gift

...Do not give up on what you want most, for what you want at the moment...

...hunger hurts but I want it so bad I could kill...

Created on 2005-10-09 09:16:02 (#8497000), last updated 2008-06-19

516 comments received, 553 comments posted

Basic Account [Gift]

121 Journal Entries, 4 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 6 Userpics

Basic Info

Name:	petite_larme
Birthdate:	11-05
Location:	Verbier, Switzerland

Bio

alors...

desperate measures...

this is my ED journal because my normal journal (which you can also add if you like to know about the other stuff that I call "my life" just no ed related comments k? stellar__tears )

I'm a 20 year old (November 5th)

Swiss/Canadian...currently living in Switzerland with my father and sisters (lived 15 years in Prince Edward Island Canada woot woot)

STATS

Height: 5'2

CW: 106.5 lbs :(

BMI: 19.5 :(

HW: this summer 125 lbs, over all 130 lbs

LW: 90 lbs

GW: 79 lbs

now for the boring "How I Came to the World of Eating Disorders" stuff...

In 2000 my family moved to my dad's village in the swiss alps being the overweight (5'2", 130 lbs), gross, ugly 15 year old I was the fact that I had actually found friends in Canada and was sure that no one in the rest of the world could ever care about me I fell into a mini depression for about 6-8 months...

depression = stopped eating = lost 33 lbs

=

97 lbs

"wow, not eating WORKS!"

then came the realization that people only like skinny ppl and I AM NOT SKINNY!! I lost a bit more weight, then my parents made me get help and eat. :( which I did but not before turning to Bulimia...

...at about age 16-17 (103.5 lbs) I started being hardcore bulimic (cutting also) and managed to keep that hidden for at least a year, a year and a half. Then I got some therapy and almost completely stopped.

in 2004 I went to University in Canada for 10 months and being the gross being I am gained a major amount of weight! ended up at 130 lbs and cutting again!!!went through some tough times and started up my bulimia harcore again. got down to 120 lbs then got sent to the hospital by friend on October 24th 2004. Stayed for awhile (great 19th birthday eh :P) and my parents sent for me to come home.

Back in Switzerland (December 2004)... my mother takes all my meds away and I gain again... 125 lbs :(. Staying bulimic, at times worse than others, until July 2005.

July 27th 2005 ,I got fed up and started a fast for 5 days cuz then I started work and couldnt cope with "nothing". I always loved fasting tho. Started restricting to about 100-150 cal a day. 2.5 months later... 97 lbs.

October 6th 2005, Father freaks out and weighs me... weigh in at 9pm : 43 kg (94.5 lbs) he then weighs me everyday for 2-3 days he wants me to at least get to 45 kg (99 lbs) by the next week (October 10th).

all this come up to now (October 9th 2005) I've eaten EVERYTHING and it's GROSS!!! I am currently at what he wanted 45kg :(:(:( and he's leaving me alone.

Now I'm just trying to figure out how to go about all this without him catching on. :S:S I WILL NOT BE SENT TO THE HOSPITAL!!!! and I WILL BE SKINNY!!!!

sorry that was so long and boring but thought it would be easier this way :)

lots of love